Nightmares
by Trickster In The Shadows
Summary: Every night Loki has a nightmare. Every night they are the same group of nightmares that replay themselves. .Every night Loki awakes in fear his eyes wide. Every night Loki is terrified, scared and so, so very lonely.


Nightmares

Almost every single night Loki had a nightmare.

Every night Loki would fall into is bed exhausted and tired from the day but with a fear in his mind of what was to come. His past experiences had terrifying and even horrific at times. He knew what kind of imagined images his own mind would fool him with. He feared the dreams he knew would plague his thoughts. What would it be this time? How long would it last? All these questions swarmed Loki's mind before he gave into his fatigue and fell into a restless sleep.

Sometimes he dreamt of his own death.

He dreamt of a battle. Ruins littered the surrounding area and dust gathered upward from the ground. The air was polluted and choked all who dared to inhale it. And two people, one broad and large the other smaller and with more calculated movements, would be the only ones standing in the wasteland. It always began the same way. They would fight harshly. Each would deliver strong and deadly lows to the other, to the point where they almost could not stand. Then, with a misplaced step, Loki would tumble to the ground with a pain filled groan, and the last thing he would see was Thor hateful expression as he brought his hammer down to end his brother.

Other times he dreamt of Thor's death.

It would go the same as the other dream. A battle. Then Thor would misplace a step and go crashing down onto the rough surface. Then Loki, with a sneer and an unreadable expression in his eyes, would bring down the sceptre right into Thor's chest. Thor would gaze up at him with sorrow and pain as he drew his last breath. Then after Thor's heart stopped beating Loki would lay with is brother of the ground. He would clasp his hand tightly and tears would run down his face, staining the skin with trains of salty water. He would lay there for what seemed like eternity before he mumbled the word, "I love you Brother.", and woke up.

A few times he had dreamt of how Thor had taken his heritage.

It was in the room with the Casket of Winters. Loki would stand near the horrible thing with Thor Slightly behind him, confused at what was happening but willing to trust is brother. Slowly Loki would reach for the casket, Thor growing even more worried and confused, and as he grasped it he slowly began to change. His true form broke through the spell that made him look like any other Asgardian. The blue shade crawled along his skin and lines began to form into patterns along his flesh. Then he would raise his eyes from the floor and look at Thor. Then he began to take in ragged breaths trying but failing to keep his emotions in control. Thor's eyes could say it all. They hatred and betrayal that turned his eyes a dark colour sent shivers down Loki's spine. He had never seen Thor like this. He had his mouth in a snarl like shape calling Loki a vile cold creature, a thing that was not his brother. Loki would try to explain that he had not known, that he was no different now even though he knew he was, he would try to tell his brother how much he loved him. But this never worked, and the nightmare always ended with Thor turning his back on his brother and speaking words he had never heard his brother say, "Loki, I hate you."

But there was one dream that Loki feared and dreaded even more than the last three combined.

It was the one where Thor gave up on him, on Loki, his brother.

Loki hung onto Thor's hand as he himself held onto the broken Bifrost. They both stared into the others eyes, trying to read them, trying to understand them. They hung there for who knows how long just trying to really see the other. They were the only two out there, with only the starry night sky all around them. That's when Loki came to a realisation. He knew what he had to do, what he had to say. He knew that he would not lie and that he would repair the damage he had done. But, suddenly, before Loki could open his lips and utter the magic words Thor interrupted him. Thor had come to another realisation, a completely different one.

"I don't understand brother. I just don't understand. I give up Loki."

Before Loki could speak, to respond to his brother with loving words and apologies, Thor let go.

He simply let go.

He let go.

And as Loki fell into an abyss of stars and darkness the last thing he saw was his brother's face and he could not stop the tears that slipped through his green eyes and the pain in his chest, which engulfed him into a world of loneliness and misery.

Loki would often awake from these dreams covered in a gleam of cold sweat from head to toe. His hands would tremble and shivers would rank his body over and over again. Tears would slip past his lids and don his cheeks without him even knowing and, he battled this all alone. He never had someone to go to or someone to embrace when he awoke in fear. He battled these nightmares alone every night. Only left with his thoughts and insane imagination, sometimes truly fooling himself into thinking all of his nightmares would become true one day.

So ever night it continued the same. Loki would awake in fear with only the remaining images of his nightmares and his thoughts to keep him company in his most desperate times of need.


End file.
